Why do we do this?

Lately I have felt an overwhelming (almost rehabilitating) sense of guilt over past sin in my life. I know I've been forgiven for everything and I have repented of everything I know I am doing in my life that is sinful, but yet I keep being bombarded by guilt. I know this is from Satan, but why do we do this to ourselves?

I find that when I am close to the Lord and things seem to be going well, something comes into my life to derail me (aka Satan). It's so hard to remain in the Lord when you feel like you are worth nothing, and what I am trying to remind myself is that this is where GRACE comes in. We don't deserve forgiveness. We don't deserve eternal life. We don't deserve to be close to the Lord. And yet, because Jesus came to this earth, lived a perfect sinless life, and went WILLINGLY to the cross, we are SAVED. It's so hard to remember this when I am suffocated with guilt, but it's the truth.

It's amazing what truth does for a person. When you read scripture there is always truth looking you straight in the face and you cannot get around the fact that we are sinners. Yes, I have sinned. Yes, I have made mistakes. And yes, I wish I could take it back. BUT I am totally and completely forgiven for what I have done and I need, no I MUST forgive myself because God has already forgiven me for what I have done. I know why these things happen, but it's so hard to get back into the light of the Lord when you feel guilty, and this is where Satan wants me, on the outside looking in on what I think the Lord sees, when in actuality God sees me as a clean, pure child of His that He loves without any thought to the mistakes I've made.

Another thing that gets to me is the fact that sin is sin, NO MATTER WHAT WE'VE DONE! People are the ones who make one sin greater than another and that is a worldly mindset. I need to remember that I am no better or no worse than any other person because of what I've done in my life. EVERYONE SINS! NO ONE EXCEPT JESUS IS PERFECT! I am forgiven, not because I deserve it, but because of the grace of the Lord and the love He has for me.

Now to bind this around my heart...

Lord, I need you more than anything in my life. I know what I've done, you know what I've done, and you have forgiven me. You choose to give me grace and love and forgiveness and I need to stop with the guilt trip and move forward. I am a child of God. I am washed pure and clean by the death Jesus died on the cross. I don't deserve it, but PRAISE THE LORD, I have received it. I accept your gift, even though I am a sinner and I thank you for the sacrifice you made to save my life. I love you Lord. Bind these words around my heart and my life. In your holy name, Amen. 


P.S.-For those of you that read this, prayer would be GREATLY appreciated to protect me from the power of the evil one and to feel Jesus close to my heart and my life. Thanks in advance!